Blue and Gold Banquet

Unless we get a midlife surprise baby, we have just had our very last Blue and Gold Banquet with our Cub Scout boys.  Hallelujah  Ummm....I mean I am so sad that these Cub Scout years are coming to a close in our family.  Next month we will have our very last Pinewood Derby and then in July, Carson will be moving up into big boy scouts. 

He has worked hard to earn his Webelos rank and will be earning his Arrow of Light in a few months.  Doing scouts with a child with special needs is a lesson in patience, determination, and creativity because he doesn't have the ability to speak very well and memorize words.  It took awhile for me to realize that it was okay that he was not able to say the Cub Scout oath, promise and motto.  We started saying one line at a time and then he would repeat, the best that he could, each line as we said it.  We realized that he was following the Cub Scout motto perfectly...he was doing his best!  Luckily, Carson forgives easily and taught his perfectionist Mom a few lessons along the way in the process.  He has also been blessed with great leaders that are patient with him, adapt the activities to his needs and level and most importantly love him.

I would love to tell you what the theme for the night was but I don't think I was paying attention well enough to remember.  It was decorated with stars and planets that were awesome and I think I heard the word "resources" or "resourcefulness".  Yeah, I know...I'm awesome at being observant and painting a detailed picture.  There were also water bottles on the table that the kids could decorate as spaceships which was the best idea in the world!  All of my kids went to town making their own spaceship (except Kinsey who was being a great big sister and helping Carson with his awesome spaceship).  I, of course, did not get any pictures of the spaceships or the great robot that Carson drew and then had me cut out after he cut the arm off.  He was pretty mad at me for not being able to save the arm so I cut it out separately and glued it back on.  I'm so sad we didn't get a picture of it because it was a great robot!!

Like I said, he earned his Webelos rank.  When they called his name he marched right up to the front dragging his mom with him.  The Cubmaster started listing off his awards so he stuck out his hand to accept them.  I looked down and saw a giant...ummm...how do I say this delicately?...booger on his finger.  He looked down saw that prize from his nose excursion, muttered something to himself about getting rid of that and just shook his finger at his side until it fell to the floor.  I hope that one day I achieve his greatness!  That I can get the boogers of life on my finger, shake them off, and just go on to accept my awards without a hint of embarrassment and be proud of the things I have achieved!!  I'm getting better because with my older boys I would have been dying of embarrassment but I just stood there in front of a crowd of people and laughed!  This is what I love about this child of mine.  He makes me a better person!



Don't mind that booger, Mom! 

 Here's your award, Mom...you can pin it on yourself!



He also earned his Fitness, Outdoorsman, Artist, Readyman, Compass Point and Religious Knot!

He helped his den do a skit that told the story of Betsy Ross.  He was George Washington.  I, of course, did not get a picture of that so just picture him with a Revolutionary War hat watching a pregnant Betsy Ross sewing the American Flag.  I never realized that Betsy Ross was pregnant when she made the flag.  Thank goodness the Cub Scouts told the REAL story! :)

He was pretty excited to be able to decorate a cake for the cake decorating contest.  He chose a Blue and Gold theme that depicted an epic battle.

He wanted to put every single soldier on the battlefield!

Kinsey helped him out!

Trying to solve their creative differences!

Kinsey...are you doing that right?

He won the award for the Bravest Cake.  When they called his name, he did two fist-pumps over the head and said "YES!!!"  He was pretty proud of this accomplishment.

This is what we found when we went to pick up our dish.

There were many casualties in this battle!
 

Good job Carson!  We are so proud of all of your hard work!!

It's important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle

Tonight, I was walking down the hall at church with Carson when someone asked me "Are you Shanon Warburton?"  I said "I am!"  He then asked me if my husband was older than me.

Can I just interupt this little story to say that for the last 20 years people have been telling me that I still look like I am a teenager.  My husband has gray hair and wrinkles and is 10 years older than me.  He has not been told that he looks like a teenager for a long, long time!

Anyway....I got this serious look on my face and said "No...I am older!!"  Well, the look on this man's face was priceless and his mouth was gaping open.  Then I said "I'm kidding!!" and walked off to get something from another room.  I get a strange sense of satisfaction from messing with people's minds...I should probably repent. :)

When I came back out in the hallway, he was still there and he said "I just have to ask....how much older than you is he?!"  I told him 10 years.  He looked relieved as he said "oh....good for you!!"

I think it is finally time to come to terms with the fact that I don't look like a teenager but surely the fact that Gary is older than me (by 10 years!!!) is obvious.  Right? 

Please just say yes to make me feel better.

Mommy...no waterwear!!

This morning when the alarm went off, I tried to ignore it.  Our alarm will not be ignored though, and just got louder and louder until I was forced to do something about it.  I said "OKAY....BINE!!!" (that's how Carson says "fine" and now all of us are saying it that way) and got out of my comfy bed, turned off the alarm and went to hunt for Carson.  Carson has a funny thing he does in the dark of the night...he plays musical beds so we aren't ever really sure where we will find him.  This morning I found him already dressed, sitting in a chair in the living room, fast asleep.

He looked so peaceful so I decided to fix his breakfast before I woke him up.  He has a routine that he follows in the morning that includes Carnation instant breakfast...chocolate being his flavor of choice because really, what other flavor is there?!  He also has an egg taco...NO CHEESE!!!...with  ketchup.

After he ate breakfast, I started to put on his shoes and socks but he said "NO MOMMY NO!  No waterwear!!"

I guess when he got dressed this morning, he didn't put on his underwear.  Well, alrighty then!!  How silly of me not to know that!!  I guess we should get some underwear on you!!  So...then he led me right to the underwear of choice for the day.

When his tighty whities were on, he quit giving me the stink eye and let me put his shoes on.  He was pretty happy until the bus showed up.  The bus got here before his dad got back from taking the big kids to church.  That messed up his whole routine and he couldn't possibly get on the bus if his dad wasn't there to say goodbye!!  So, he hunkered down and refused to get on.  Turns out when your child refuses to get on the bus and you aren't strong enough to force them to get on the bus, the bus just leaves without your child and all you can do is turn around and go back inside to wait for daddy to get home.

Carson was pretty excited that Daddy got to take him to school.  I'm not sure we will ever get him on the bus again!!  Gary wasn't as excited to add that to our already busy schedule but how can you get mad when you have this boy that adores you and just wanted to kiss you goodbye?!!

My words of wisdom for all you mom's out there...never forget to put a boy's waterwear on and all you dad's out there...come home on time and also be grateful for those little ones that adore you.

Also, if you are ever told that you are going to have a baby with Down Syndrome?  Fall to your knees and thank your Heavenly Father for being one of the luckiest families on this planet and then just sit back and enjoy the ride!!   It's the best thing you will ever do and the greatest love you will ever receive!!

Kindness Begins With Me

Last night I was lamenting over the fact that our children aren't very nice to each other and was wondering how we could teach them to like their brothers and sisters.  I was pretty distressed over this dilemma.  Gary in all his wisdom said that maybe "some of us" are not very nice but we'll learn one day to be kind and loving to each other and I can probably not worry about my children being serial killers just yet.

Now, I should probably point out that I could have possibly been suffering from the effects of sleep deprivation because seminary started back up this week and I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 4 in the am because I worry, worry, worry that we will sleep through the alarm and so I woke up waaaayyyy earlier than I needed to.  This morning I woke up at 5 so it's getting a little better but I'm still a tad bit cranky.

Since I was up so early, I decided to juice some carrots and apples.  I started juicing several months ago and was juicing about 2 apples and 4 carrots every single day.  Then, in a moment of pure insanity, I coerced Kinsey into drinking a cup of juice every morning so I was juicing 4 apples and 8 carrots.  Then, for Christmas, Gary got me a new juicer and has now gotten hooked on juicing and has convinced Emily and Carson to try it (but they make faces and shudder when they drink the juice so they aren't loving it).  I know....to most normal, loving moms that would be the best news on the planet.  Except that the new juicer requires you to cut the fruit and veggies into small pieces and that is A LOT of produce to cut!  So, I decided to go back to juicing for just Kinsey and me.  No one was around until the juice was all finished and then Gary (who was much too busy to help cut the produce) showed up and offered to pour the juice for me which in Gary language meant that he would give Kinsey and I smaller portions so he could take some for himself even though I told him I was only making it for Kinsey and me.  Then Emily walked in and she wanted some (and she had the nerve to act like she was choking it down!) so we got a fraction of the juice that we normally get.  I may have scowled at them and called him a vulture because I am so pleasant.

I am also anticipating a busy afternoon with lots of driving because I have to pick up the middle school child at 4:15, rush the cub scout to the church by 4:30, dash to pick up the high-schoolers which are normally picked up at 4:30, drive them home, pick up cub scout by 5:30 and then drive across town in rush hour traffic to meet Gary so that he can take the cub scout to Special Olympics basketball practice (which Carson has ever-so-patiently been waiting for for weeks and is over-the-moon-excited about).  I got a headache just typing all that out.  It's not a lot compared to other families but that is a lot of driving for this over-anxious homebody!

I just sent this email to Gary so that we could make sure we knew what we were doing today:

Dear Gary,

Here's the email with the details for basketball. I thought we could just meet you at the school a few minutes before 6 (not right on the dot 6 or 6:02 but maybe 5:55 because I know how you can be but watch I'll get stuck in traffic and be super late now that I said that). Then you can stay with Carson because basketball is dad turf and I will probably come home to referee the other kiddos who will be mauling each other by that point....I mean overwhelming each other with so much love and kindness that we will be in danger of getting kicked out of the neighborhood because our children are too perfect and everyone is jealous of our awesome parenting skills.

Sound like a plan? Maybe I'll even make dinner while you're basketball-ing but don't get your hopes up too high because I might be cranky by then. Oh, and yes...I know that there is salmon in the fridge and yes...I know how to cook it so don't you dare give me suggestions and ideas for dinner or else! Not even a hint about side dishes! Got it?!

Who am I kidding...I am already cranky and it's not even noon! I might need a little nap or an attitude adjustment. I can't, for the life of me, figure out why our kids aren't more loving and sweet to their family and friends! It's a puzzle!!

Anyway...I love you...even though I'm cranky and don't like to share my juice.

Love,

Shanon

This was Gary's response to my soft and cuddly email:

Your emails are classic!  Everyone else in the world is deprived!  I will be there before 6 for sure.

Love,

Gary

I'm pretty sure we can all tell where my kids get their sweet and loving dispositions.  Maybe one day Gary will learn how to be more kind and loving. :)

I am curing my crankiness by snitching Gary's Christmas chocolate and consuming it in large quantities.  Shhh....don't tell him.

 

Why Do We Have To Eat?

Alternative Title:  Why Are Grocery Stores Evil?

 

I went to the grocery store today.

I pulled into the parking lot and had my blinker on to turn down the aisle. This man in a truck came speeding down from the next aisle while I was waiting for another car to go by and then looked right at me before he took the parking spot that I was going to take. He did a fist pump (I might be making that up) as I drove by to get to the next parking spot that was 5 miles away. As I walked by him, I refrained from kicking him (blessings in heaven) but I did think about kicking him (lost blessings in heaven).

I walked into the store and there were two women sitting right by the door tricking people into signing up for $100 HEB gift cards. I didn't know how to refuse that (because I'm socially awkward) so I signed up for it and made the mistake of looking her in the eye and smiling. The tricky part was that they were from the Austin Statesman (stupid newspaper...how many times do I have to tell them I don't want it?) and wanted to know if I DID take the newspaper what would be the biggest reason. Note to self: next time say "to start a fire"...but I stupidly said "for the coupons". STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!! Then I got the whole memorized speech about how much money you can save by spending $2.50 a week on the newspaper to get the coupons and also you can get the Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat newspapers FOR FREE!!! She neglected to tell me that we would be found dead in a few weeks buried under miles of stupid newspapers. I told her that I wasn't interested and she gave me the look. You know the look. The one that says "well...okay...my children will starve to death and end up in a homeless shelter...but go ahead and say that you aren't interested and make sure you have an enormous guilt trip while saying you don't have time to read the newspaper!!"

Then I went to the produce section and spent 5 minutes in front of the herbs looking for cilantro in the little pre-packaged bags but cilantro isn't in the pre-packaged bags it is right next to the parsley and looks exactly like parsley (they are both green and leafy) and people were getting annoyed with me because I was standing in front of the herbs for 5 minutes looking for cilantro while blocking the teeny, tiny aisle. Someone even said "excuse me!!" in a not so friendly way.  I saw some grapes and thought those would be a good snack but the package of grapes cost $6.98(!!!) so I put them back because $6.98 for grapes? Are they made of gold? They're just juicy raisins for heaven's sake!!  I came to terms with the fact that I could no longer afford grapes but luckily I found the cheap grapes and bought them.

I ventured away from the produce and I nearly got run over EVERY TIME I left one aisle to go to another one.  I ended up in the canned vegetable section at the same time that someone else did and she wanted food on my side and I wanted food on her side and of course she parked her cart right in front of the food that I wanted so I had to do a strange contortionist move to reach over her cart to grab the can of beans that I needed.

 

I managed to put the groceries on the check-out belt without incident until the bagger lady snuck up on me to pull a piece of paper out of the cart while I was looking at the magazine rack.  The cart started rolling away and I jumped to the ceiling.  Also, I thought about buying a magazine that had diabetes recipes but it cost $10!!  Didn't those used to cost $3.95?

 

Then I got stuck behind a sloooooowwwwww walking Asian grandmother shuffling out of the store but I didn't say excuse me!!! in a not so friendly way, I didn't run over her or give her an exasperated sigh and eye roll as I walked by (blessings in heaven!!) but I thought about it (lost blessings in heaven!!)  I managed to make it back to the car without getting run over or kicking anyone.

I survived with only a few heart palpitations and an enormous headache. Then I came home and made yummy dip for a party tonight which will probably cause me to have a panic attack and die of heart failure because did I mention that I am socially awkward.  Last year, I went to this party and ended up walking out during Jingle Bells because it reminded me of singing around the piano with my sister and I hid in the bathroom having a sob fest.  That wasn't embarrasing at all.  Jingle Bells?!!!  Really?!!!

My anxiety is well under control!!  Merry Christmas to me!

I expect to see this on Pinterest soon

There are few things worse than walking into the bathroom after someone has "done their business" and clogged up the toilet but doesn't bother to tell anyone.  This happened at our humble abode today so I went seeking out the child responsible for such atrocious behavior. 

Let's just say that summer has put me on edge a bit and I have lost all patience for messy children.

I found the person responsible and told them to go plunge the toilet but they said they didn't know how.  I had one teenager that knew how to plunge a toilet and two that didn't.  I decided that the best thing to do would be to have them all learn how and had the the teenager that knew how to do it, teach the ones that didn't.  After much weeping and wailing and knashing of teeth, I came up with this, what-I'm-sure-will-be-famous-any-day-now quote:

Teach a girl to plunge and she will plunge for herself, plunge for her and you will be plunging for her the rest of her life.

Okay, go forth and Pin.

You're welcome!

Happy Anniversary Shanon!

Those of you who read this blog know that it is written by my lovely, talented, slightly quirky and very funny wife (yes honey, I have hacked into your blog). Tomorrow we celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary.  21 years is a relatively long time but it really doesn't seem all that long ago. I remember the day well, a beautiful bride, lost keys, close friends, family, posing for pictures, lots of green and mauve (such "in" colors at the time), a long line of well wishers, cleaning up (I will let Shanon explain that one at a later date, lets just say I was kind of a "duty freak" and really dumb).

A lot happens over 21 years.  Such as 5 children, several job changes, some health issues, 5 houses, 3 states, lots of good times, lots of tough times, and lots of driving kids around.  This list could be so long but as I sit here thinking about everything we have done together the time seems to have gone by too quickly.  I want it to slow down.  I like the journey we are taking and I like taking it with you.  It has made me a much better man than who I was or would have been without you.

So thank you Shanon for 21 excellent years! I would really like 21 more and then maybe 21 more after that.  Thank you for being my beautiful bride, a wonderful mother, my closest friend. 

Happy Anniversary sweetheart!

Love,
Gary