A Typical Thursday Morning



"You want a piece of me?!"

Thursdays are the day that Carson typically wakes up a teeny bit grumpy.  I think it's because he has scouts the night before and goes to bed later than usual.  This is how a typical Thursday goes on the weeks that Gary is driving the teenagers to church and I am home getting Carson ready:

I make Carson a breakfast drink and then play the "Where did Carson end up in the middle of the night" game.  I give him his drink and this is our conversation (every single time!):

Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  At church.
Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  At church.
Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  He ran away with the circus.
Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  He's at the zoo.
Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  He's at the toy store.
Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  He's floating down the river.
Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  Hush up and let's get you ready for school.
Carson:  No....I tired.
Me:  Hurry...the bus will be here soon.
Carson:  No...I tired!

Then I drag him out of wherever he is sleeping.  Usually at that point, he sees what I picked out for him to wear and is quiet if he approves and screams if he doesn't approve.  This morning, he did not approve because I picked out jeans for him to wear because it was rainy.  He complained all the way to the bathroom.  I turned on the light and told him to go potty while he screamed that the light was too bright.  I turned off the light and went to find an alcohol swab to wipe off the stamps from his arm (they stamp him on his arm each time he runs a lap in PE and alcohol is the only thing that will take the ink off).  I came back and he was still standing there in the dark not going potty.  I turned on the light to wipe his arm, he screamed that it was too bright, I wiped his arm, turned out the light and left him to go potty while I went to the kitchen to get another wipe (he ran a lot of laps!).  I came back to him still standing in the dark, not going potty!  I turned on the light, he screamed that it was too bright, I wiped his arm, turned out the light and told him to GO POTTY!!  Finally, he decided to go potty.  When he finished, I told him to wash his hands.  "No wash hands!!"  I told him he had to wash his hands and he said "No wash hands!!" while I forced soap on him and told him he HAD TO WASH HIS HANDS!  We were both getting kind of grumpy at this point.

He is really old enough and capable enough to get dressed on his own but we would have to get him up at 4am to do that because he likes to take his sweet time getting dressed so I help him.  I have never seen a kid take so stinking long to pick up a foot to put it in a pair of underwear!!  I start putting his jeans on while he says "NO JEANS!" and I say "Yes, jeans!" and put them on him.  His jeans are too long so I start to roll them up and he says "NO TICKLE MY FEET!!" and I say (louder than usual) "I'm not tickling your feet, I'm rolling up your pants!"  He's finally all dressed except for shoes so I sit down beside him and he puts his feet in my lap like I am his servant charged with sock/shoe duty.  I start to put his shoes on and he yells "NO TICKLE MY FEET!!" and I yell back "I'm not tickling your feet, I'm putting your shoes on!!"

All of that took about 20 minutes and the bus should be here soon so I tell him that we need to brush his teeth.  "NO BRUSH MY TEETH!!" and I obviously comply by walking him into the bathroom to brush his teeth.  He demands a certain toothbrush, toothpaste and that he be allowed to "DO IT MYSELF!" 

I put on his jacket, pray with him and he runs to the bus just in time.  Now, all of this time he has been extremely grumpy but as soon as he sees the bus driver he starts giggling.  He giggles so much that he can't manage to get his seatbelt on.  The bus driver said "Well, he is sure happy today, isn't he?!" 

I smile sweetly at the bus driver and say "yes he is!!"  Then, I wave to my cute boy, blow him a kiss and thank my Heavenly Father that there is such a thing as school because I don't know if both of us would survive a whole day of that grumpy attitude. 

After climbing back into bed and eating half a big bag of M&Ms, I told Gary this story.  When I told him about agreeing with the bus driver that he was happy he gave me a high five and said "Good job for not throwing Carson under the bus!!" 

Believe me....I was tempted....literally!!