Bad to the Bone - the Sequel

Gary and I try to go walking every morning.  We are slow walkers.  For instance, one morning this guy was slowly walking (in flip flops, I might add) to the mailbox not even breaking a sweat and Gary and I, who were walking as fast as our legs would carry us, could not catch up to him to save our life.  See...slooooowwwwwww.  We consistently walk though, so I guess that counts for something.

This morning, half way into our walk, I gasped and said "Jared is supposed to be helping out at an Eagle Scout project this morning!"  So, we started walking faster so that we could get home in time to get Jared where he was supposed to be.  After a few minutes, Gary said "Boy...you are really hustling!!" and I said "I knooowwww....and it's killing me!!"  Really though, we probably looked like two very slow turtles walking down the street.

We decided that if we wanted to make it home in time we would have to take a shortcut but as we got to the shortcut there was orange tape over the entrance to the bridge with a sign that read "Sidewalk Closed".  Gary kept walking towards it so I pointed the sign out to him and he said "Oh, I know" and kept walking towards it.  I told him we couldn't possibly keep going because the sign said it was closed!  He kept going and then STEPPED OVER THE ORANGE TAPE!!  

I said "can't you read the sign?!  It says "SIDEWALK IS CLOSED!"  He reacted by holding down the orange tape and offering a hand to help me over the tape.  I said something like "you are leading me astray and I am probably going to get hauled off to jail!"  He assured me that we would not be hauled off to jail..."we might be run over by a backhoe but we won't be hauled off to jail."  Oh...that makes me feel better.  Then he started giving me a lecture about how sometimes it's better to follow the spirit of the law then the letter of the law.  I'm pretty sure police officers don't care about the spirit of the law but that didn't seem to phase him.

He kept walking and then we saw the workers and I said "GARY....THERE ARE PEOPLE THERE THAT WILL SEE US BREAKING THE "SIDEWALK IS CLOSED" LAW!"  He decided to kill them with kindness and said "Good morning!" like it was no big deal that we were trespassing on a closed sidewalk.  As he walked, he kept apologizing for the angst he was causing my "you should never break the law" spirit.  

We got up to the walkway to our street and there was more orange tape there.  I said something like "Ummm... now we're trapped between the orange tape and the backhoe!" and he stepped over the orange tape again!!  Don't worry though, his chivalry is not completely dead because he again offered a helping hand to get me over the tape.

By that point, my heart was racing and I complained about him leading me down the path of destruction and he said "Don't worry...you're bad to the bone...remember?!

I'll probably start pulling the tags off of mattresses again.  Oh, and just in case you are wondering, Jared made it in time.  I guess it pays to be bad to the bone.