Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Confession

I'm just going to come right out and say it.

I love Rob.

Who is Rob, you ask?

Oh, he's just a guy I met at Home Depot.

It all started on the night before we were to leave for a two-week vacation to Utah. I was doing some last minute cleaning and mopping. I don't know why, but when we are here all the time I don't feel the need to mop the kitchen but if we are leaving for an extended period of time come heck or high water this house WILL BE CLEAN!

The faucet in the kitchen had been leaking all week. Gary decided he needed to fix it before we left. Did I tell you we were leaving for two weeks and that I was frantically cleaning and mopping? Did I mention that it was already midnight and we were supposed to leave really early the next morning? Plumbing and lack of sleep make my normally patient husband really stressed. He always goes a bit insane when he is really stressed. I, on the other hand, am always insane so it was like the perfect storm. I made a few suggestions on how to fix the faucet, he became more annoyed, broke the faucet and then just shut off the water completely. While I was still cleaning the kitchen. Grrr!

We decided to just call it a night when the fiery darts started flying out of my eyes. Early the next morning (an hour or two later than we planned), we left our house and forgot all about that broken faucet. We had a wonderful vacation visiting family and friends.

Two weeks later, when we went to clean the kitchen our first night back, we remembered! We had to haul hot water in from the bathroom to do the dishes because turning off the water included the water to the dishwasher. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I started looking on the internet for a new faucet. Those suckers are expensive! I started seeing $300 fly right out the window.

The next morning, I decided to take the faucet apart to see if it could be fixed. I discovered a tiny piece of plastic that had broken (while insane Gary was working on it). I took all the pieces to Home Depot to find a new one. I searched all over, couldn't find one and had instead picked up the only faucet that would work on our sink ($250). Just as I was leaving, I got brave and asked a lady that worked there if she knew if they sold that tiny piece of plastic. That's when she introduced me to Rob (insert heavenly chorus). He told me about a plumbing store that would have the part. He even gave me directions (swoon)!

I met Gary at work and we went to the plumbing store together. Hello! I am a big baby through and through. I used up all my braveness at Home Depot. Anyway....we found the store and the part. It cost $2.50! Gary was so excited that he bought me lunch.

I came home and put the faucet back together. It worked perfectly! The kids were all amazed. One of them even said that I am a much better Mr. Fix-it than Dad.

Oh, and Gary was thrilled. He loves it when I fix things around the house and he doesn't have to do it. Especially plumbing.

He hasn't said it out loud, but I think he loves Rob, too.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The stars at night were big and bright

da.da.da.da last night inside my bedroom...

after Gary decked me in the middle of the night with his elbow. It was just like the cartoons. I saw stars. Ouch! How much room does he need? We have a king size bed for heaven's sake.

I woke up with a headache so I took an Excedrin. A jolt of caffeine in the morning was just what I needed to get things done. I folded at least 10 loads of laundry, vacuumed the house, cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen and mopped all of the floors by 10 am.

Did anyone hear the big kaboom this afternoon?

That was me crashing.

Koolaid, Fun Dip and a Camel

Once upon a time there was a mom and dad who were wishy, washy about allowing sleepovers. The children in the family could sense this and POUNCED! Before the parents knew it, there were extra children in the house every weekend. On one such occasion, the friend brought over a quart size ziploc bag full of red Koolaid powder. Sometime during the night, the children accidentally spilled the powder on the carpet and panicked. They didn't want to vacuum the house in the middle of the night so the friend got the brilliant idea to get a wet washcloth and scrub it really good. Any guesses on how that worked?

The mom found the giant red spot on the carpet the next day. She pulled out the carpet cleaner and prayed that the spot would come out. Red Koolaid does not come out of carpet. The mom told the dad, who got really upset. The children were puzzled at the reaction. "What's the big deal, Dad?! It's just carpet!" Cue lecture #301 - "Carpet is expensive and you have ruined it." Oh, and lest you think that the mom did not get angry, she did. She just shows her anger by mumbling under her breath and sending death glares to her children.

Shortly after this incident, the mom and dad sent out a decree that there would be no more sleepovers or Koolaid in the house ever again.

The end.

What about the Fun Dip and camel, you ask?

On Halloween, a very nice lady at church
gave the daughter a giant bag of Fun Dip candy. The daughter was very excited until the dad declared that the Fun Dip would be taken away because of the Koolaid incident. She would be able to eat it but only outside away from the carpet. This caused all of the children in the car to revolt. They even went so far as to tell the dad he was over-reacting which sent him into lecture mode. This conversation started in the church parking lot while the mom was still inside cleaning up. When mom came out to the car, the Fun Dip War had broken out and accusations were flying. The fun conversation continued on for several minutes while the mom tried to retreat to her happy place where children are perfect.

Just as the mom was starting to think that throwing herself out of the speeding car would be a good option, the family passed a camel parked on the side of the road. The mom, who thinks she has now lost her mind says "did we just pass a ...." and the dad says "camel?!" The mom thinks, "well, I was going to say elephant, but I guess that IS a camel!" So the grumbling stops when the mom asks if any of the children saw the camel. All of them start talking about the camel except the most stubborn one who is still hung up on the injustice of no Fun Dip in the house. About 30 seconds later he says "camel? what camel?!"

The stubborn one starts complaining about missing the camel. The pushover dad, who knows when to pick his battles, goes back so that everyone can see the camel.
Phew...the war is over! Who would have thought that a camel would save the day?!



The End