Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Where Do You Keep Your Dry Mustard?

Dear Gary,

Today Carson slept in until about 4:30.  I'm not sure what was happening up there since I was too tired from the insomnia (did you know that every noise you hear could possibly be an axe murderer?) of the night before to walk upstairs but it sounded like he had a group of bowlers or a moving company bringing in furniture.  He must have come downstairs when he got tired of bowling and moving because I found him on the couch this morning.

One of your children came in from church this morning saying that the other one of your children had punched the first child in the stomach.  I asked why they did that but they didn't seem to think you needed a reason.

They made waffles for breakfast but didn't offer me anything but the mess to clean which was fine I suppose since I don't like eating in the morning.  They did offer to unload the dishwasher for me though and since I hate that job, I gladly took them up on the offer.  Oh, when I say they offered to do it, I mean that I told one of them to do it and he did it without complaining and then I heard the angels rejoicing!

They convinced me that I NEEDED to watch this video about what a fox says.  I frankly have never been too concerned about what a fox says but apparently it causes some people quite a bit of angst hence the video production.


It does have a catchy tune, I suppose.

On the way to school, I remembered that we hadn't said family prayer yet so I asked Emily to say it.  As she started saying the prayer, I closed my eyes and was just about to fold my arms when I remembered that I was driving.  Then I said "oh....I guess I shouldn't close my eyes" which is a very irreverent thing to do (talking) during the prayer.  Emily started laughing and then asked that I be blessed with a good night's sleep tonight.  They still seem to think I am a bit sleep deprived for some reason.

After taking the kids to school, I decided to tackle the mountain of laundry that I have been ignoring for awhile.  Good news....I found the lost pool key in the pocket of your swimsuit.  Bad news...that key has been missing for about a month.  Surely, I am not such a bad housekeeper it took me a month to wash your swimsuit?!  Anyway, I managed to get all of the laundry folded while watching Emma (a great movie, by-the-way, if you like Jane Austen.)

Carson had a great day at school but refused to get off the bus when he found out that you were STILL in Houston!!  I bribed him with a snack and scouts so that the long line of cars behind the bus didn't have to wait any longer.  I wonder if the bus driver wonders why Carson will only get off the bus when his dad is home?  He also had a good time at scouts and is getting to be quite the basketball player!

I have had a song in my head all day after watching the video of the dad and his little girl singing a duet to take her mind off of the fireworks.  It's a cute video and it makes me smile but the lyrics have been bothering me all day.  It says "I know you belong to somebody new, but tonight you belong to me."  So....if you belong to somebody new, shouldn't you still belong to them and not wait until tomorrow to belong to them again after tonight?  Just wondering.

As I was turning out all the lights tonight, I glanced over and found this:


I guess we are keeping our dry mustard on top of baby oranges now.  Don't ask me why we do these things.

So...that's about it.  I hope the axe murderers don't get me tonight!

Love,

Shanon

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

There's More Than One Way To Skin A Cat

Dear Gary,

Today we had a discussion about healthy food.  You know I am the expert on that subject!!  Emily wanted to know if I had any ideas for a healthy snack so I suggested she cut up some celery and carrots or maybe a banana.  She didn't like the banana idea because fruit gets too mushy by snack time.

She went into the kitchen for a few minutes and came back with bite size pieces of celery.  I always think of preparing celery by cutting a stalk into thirds and then cutting those into skinnier pieces so the bag of bite size pieces surprised me and I started laughing (I might possibly be sleep deprived).  She had a perfectly logical explanation for the way she cut up the celery and I thought she just might be a genius!!  You know how when you bite into a celery stick it gets all stringy?  Well bite size pieces solve that age old dilemma!  See!! Genius!!

I asked her about the carrots but she said that she didn't do them because you have to skin the carrot, and then cut the carrot and phew, just way too much effort!!  I had never heard anyone say that they needed to skin a carrot and that got me laughing again (see....sleep deprived!!)  She asked me what I would call it and I said that I always peel a carrot.

So...as we drove to school we were having a very deep discussion on whether you peeled a carrot or skinned a carrot.  Jared had to add his two cents in and agreed with me although rather than be nice about it, he said something like "Well...that's just weird!!  You don't skin a carrot!"

I agreed and said that you skin a cat not a carrot!!

Then, Jared said "No....you skin a potato and peel a carrot!!"

I had never heard of anyone skinning a potato either but he had a perfectly logical to him reason why you would skin a potato...."those potato skins (NOT PEELS) piled up high.  You wouldn't call them a pile of potato peels, would you?!"  Well, actually that is what I call them and again he said "well, that's just weird and WHO WOULD SKIN A CAT?!!!"  "WHY WOULD YOU SKIN A CAT?!"

Well, where I come from you peel a carrot, you peel a potato, and you skin a cat!!  Then I got the giggles about the way Jared had reacted to skinning a cat and couldn't quit laughing.

Then a fire truck drove by and Jared asked me if I had heard that the fire truck engine harmonized with the song playing on the radio.  So I started humming like a fire truck would hum and he said that fire trucks do not hum.  So I sang like a fire truck would sing but apparently fire trucks don't sing either.  So, then I made a vrooming noise like a fire engine in perfect harmony with the song and he said "that's almost it just less throaty!!"  Well, that just cracked me up even more!

So, as they got out of the car they kept giving me weird looks and were very concerned with the state of my mind because they both said "Mom....We think you should go home and take a nap!!"

Well, you don't have to tell me twice!!

In other news, Carson found his cleavage shirt before I had the chance to accidentally lose it.  He really likes it and was very upset that I would not let him wear it to school.  He's pretty sure that if you were here we wouldn't be having these discussions.

The cleavage shirt

I hope you aren't struggling too much in that quiet hotel room.

Love,

Shanon

Love Letters

Awhile back, I read about a lady whose husband would travel to his family's ranch in New Mexico to work, and while he was there she would write letters to him on her blog.  I always thought they were so sweet.  Gary has never had to travel for work (which is such a blessing) but he has just started a new job and left for Houston on Sunday night for a three week training ( he does get to come home on weekends).  While he is gone, I thought I would write him letters on my blog.  We have been explaining to Carson that Daddy was going to Houston for job training and I don't know....I just don't think he's getting it!

Dear Gary,

This was a conversation I had with Carson at 2:30 this morning (that's AM, people!!):

Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  In Houston.
Carson:  Why?
Me:  Why not?!
Carson:  Home soon?
Me:  Yes....he will be home on Friday.  Now GO TO SLEEP!

This was the conversation I had with Carson at 5:30 this morning:

Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  In Houston.
Carson:  Why?
Me:  Why not?!
Carson:  Home soon?
Me:  Yes....he will be home on Friday.  Now GO TO SLEEP!

This was the conversation I had with Carson at 6:00 this morning:

Me:  (Waking him up because their ride hasn't come) Come on Carson, we have to take Jared and Emily to seminary.
Carson:  Noooooo!!  Bus!!  School!!
Me:  We'll come right back and get ready for school.
At this point their ride gets here.
Me:  Grrrrrr!
Carson:  Where's Daddy?
Me:  In Houston.
Carson:  Why?
Me:  Why not?!
Carson:  Home soon?
Me:  Yes....he will be home on Friday.  Now GO TO SLEEP!


Conversation with Carson at 6:30 this morning:

Me:  Carson wake up...it's time to get ready for school.
Carson:  Grumble...roll over...sleep....snore....sleep....snore
Me:  Big heavy martyr sigh....

Guess how I feel about this.

Love you but if you ever leave me you get the kids,

Shanon


This was Gary's reply to me because he is always nice:

You are a saint and will receive a crown of glory for this!!!!  It will be well deserved!
 
Love,
Gary
 
And my reply to him because I am always a ray of sunshine:
 
No....if I were a saint, I would cheerfully hug him and reassure him and explain in great detail why his daddy abandoned....ummmm....had to go off to do training for his new job because he loves us so much and wants to provide for our family.  Then we would cuddle and I would help him to feel safe and secure.
That isn't exactly what happened. #itshardtobecheerfulandlovingat2:30inthemorning
 
Love,
 
YourcrowniscrookedShanon
 
And his saintly reply:
 
You are right. I guess this is the process of "becoming" saints. Which is also the right path to be on:)

Love you,
Gary
Doesn't that just fill your heart with thoughts of love and kindness...maybe even a few butterflies and unicorns?!