Friday, September 30, 2011

What Would Anna Do?

A few weeks ago I was driving my son to a birthday party. On that Saturday I wanted to crawl into a corner and die. I was mad at my husband for sitting around watching football, I was mad at myself for not getting up and doing something. I was tired of having trials. I was tired of being sad. I was just plain tired!

I had thoughts of running away. My family would be better off. I was dispensable. As these thoughts and others equally as pitiful ran through my head, I drove past Anna's house. I saw her face and thought about her trials and wondered "what would Anna do?"

I met Anna when we moved to Texas four years ago. She always had a smile on her face. One day I was standing in the hallway at church waiting to talk to one of my church leaders. She was also waiting to talk to him so we started talking about how things were going. She asked how my children were coping with the move. They were having a hard time and missed their friends. She told me how much she hoped they would start to feel better soon. She found out my family was waiting in the car for me and so she told me to go first to meet with my leader. I found out later that her family was waiting too.

One day at a scout meeting, I saw her limping. I came home and told my husband that I thought she might have some health issues. I found out later that she had cancer in her leg. At the time, I had a sister battling breast cancer. She told me that she was praying for my sister. We talked about different treatments they were thinking about doing. She had been inspired to eat a healthier diet and had encouraged her family to do the same.

My sister died a few months later and the day that I found out, Anna and her husband brought over flowers and a card. She wanted me to have comfort and to know that someone was thinking about me. She told me that we would be in her prayers. I still have her card because it brought me so much peace.

Anna left a short time after that to start on a treatment that would hopefully be able to save her leg but they had to amputate. I followed her progress on her blog. She was always so inspiring. She did not let losing a leg stop her from doing things or for serving others. Just like my sister, her cancer kept coming back and spreading. I worried for her and hoped that her outcome would be better.

As I thought about Anna on that Saturday, I thought about sending her a note to ask her how she remained so strong in the face of such adversity. I wanted to tell her how much she had inspired me and that even though she wasn't here anymore that she had made a difference in my life. I kept putting off sending that note.

Last night I found out that Anna lost her battle with cancer and I regretted not sending it. As I was looking at her pictures and notes from friends on Facebook I got the answer to "what would Anna do?"

Anna would testify of Christ through her talent of singing, she would let her family know that she loved them by cleaning out the pumpkins for her family so they could carve them for Halloween, she would play duets on the piano because her daughter loved to do that, she would spend time with her sisters even though she had chemo that day, she would make you feel like you were the most important friend in her life.

Now I know what Anna would do so what am I going to do about it? What will I change in my life to be more like Anna? As I thought about that, I got out of bed and cleaned the kitchen. I fixed a shirt for my daughter. I ate a few vegetables at lunch time (I wonder if Anna liked peas? Eating healthier is going to be a tough one). I stayed up late to listen to my kids tell me all about the football game and how the half time show went. I taught my daughter how to do a butt flop (something that was popular when I was in color guard which was called flag corp way back in the day). I snapped my fingers and sang "Fever" while being silly with my kids. I knelt down to pray with my husband when I was feeling offended. I practiced a song on the piano that I will play in church one day even though it terrifies me. I will smile more and remember to be grateful for all the blessings that I have. I will be more patient and not so quick to be offended. I will tell my family that I love them and how proud I am of them. I will serve others cheerfully and with a willing heart.

I will be more like the Savior because I know that that is what Anna would do.