So be good for goodness sake...

A few weeks before Christmas, Gary committed the unpardonable sin of marriage.....he left the toilet seat up.

I know what you're thinking..."really, Shanon, is that all you have to worry about?!"...but if you had my bladder, that would be a big deal to you.

I came out of the bathroom complaining to him about how I had nearly fallen in the toilet because he didn't take the two seconds it would have taken to put the seat down.

I know what you're thinking..."Shanon, why didn't you take the two seconds to put the toilet seat down"...but if you had my bladder, you would know that I don't have an extra two seconds.

Then I decided to kick him. He said it was an awesome round house kick. I was aiming for the soft part of his behind but I quickly discovered that Gary has cat-like reflexes. Who knew?! He deflected my awesome kick and instead of my foot hitting the soft, cushy part of his behind, it hit his boney elbow.

I know what you're thinking..."gasp! Did she just say she kicked her husband?!"...but if you had my bladder, you would have kicked him too!

After realizing that a kick to the elbow is what broken toes are made of, I learned my lesson.

I know what you're thinking..."kicking someone is never the way to solve a problem"...atleast that's what my 16 year old daughter told me but if you had my bladder you would know that desperate times call for desperate measures!

I learned that next time, I need to remember to put my shoes on before I kick him.

I Laugh When I'm Nervous

Gary went with me to a doctor's appointment today. When we got there, the receptionist handed me one of those forms to fill out. You know the forms that ask you a million questions about your health? I handed it to Gary and said "here, this is your job today." He started filling it out while we were in the waiting room. A few minutes later, the nurse came out to get us. After stepping on the scale, checking height, and blood pressure, we were led to an exam room. Gary was still working on the form, and started asking questions.

"Are you having trouble sleeping?" I answered yes.

"Do you ever have feelings of sadness?" I answered yes.

He wasn't checking off any of the things that I was feeling so I asked him why he wasn't answering the questions the way I told him to.

All of a sudden, Jared says "Moommmm...this isn't all about you, you know?!"

"What?! What do you mean, it's not about me?"

He said "this is MY check-up!"

Oh...sorry! Then he said "I can tell Mom is nervous because she is cracking a lot of jokes."

I really think they should have checked MY blood pressure.