Friday, January 28, 2011

It's Your Mom!

Yesterday I called Chris.

He has been away at college since August although he did come home for three weeks for Christmas.

I have been worried about him (I can hear you now...Shanon? Worried?!) so I thought I'd just call for a minute to give him a pep talk. I stink at pep talks, by-the-way.

He answered the phone and I said "Hi, Chris!" He said hi back.

Then he said "who is this?!"

Gary says he didn't recognize me because my voice sounds different. I have a cold. A cold that I got after I ate spinach and healthy chicken noodle soup with carrots, onions, and celery. I also exercised last week.

Things I have learned this week:

(1) my son doesn't remember who I am.
(2) exercise and vegetables will cause you to take to your death bed.
(3) my husband will not use his sick days to stay home to take care of me
(4) Lifetime movies are the cheesiest....I could act better than that
(5) sometimes I miss cable TV
(6) mammograms hurt like the dickens
(7) having a pelvic ultrasound is no picnic ("you want to stick that wand where?!")
(8) pap smears aren't that fun either
(9) having 5 kids does bad things to a bladder (drink lots of water and hold it for over an hour?!--see #7)
(10) my ovaries did not explode
(11) all my tests came back normal (hooray for that)
(12) the pain I have been having is psychosomatic (just ask my husband)
(13) I might be a bit cranky

Some good things happened this week too, but right now I'm having a pity party and focusing on the positive would kind of mess with my plan to wallow in my misery. I know...that's so unusual for me...to focus on the negative!

If my father-in-law were here he would tell me that what I need is a good cup o' tea.

Well...back to my sick bed I go. There are several cheesy Lifetime movies I haven't seen yet.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Sky Is Falling

Gary and I were driving home and got stopped at a red light underneath the toll road. I heard the cars driving over us.

Me: "I hope the road doesn't collapse."
Gary: "That would be bad...very bad!"
Me: "That thought never crossed your mind, did it?"
Gary: "Nope."
Me: "See what it's like to live in my head?"
Gary: "You do have a knack for worrying!"

Then the light changed. Phew! That was a close one.



See...it happens ALL THE TIME!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I don't have curly hair

I have this friend on Facebook.

She reads my blog, tells me I am funny and thinks I should write a book. She says she would even buy my book. I like this friend. She is very good for my ego and so so nice.

One day she said that she always knew I would be a good mom. My husband asked me who she was.

I told him, "I don't know and it's driving me crazy."

I have wracked my brain for the last year trying to figure out who she is. I thought maybe she was a friend from school but somehow I got the impression that she was younger than me. Then one day I noticed that she was a mutual friend of a good friend of mine from Florida. Someone I met after I was married and had children who is an awesome school teacher. So I thought that maybe she was a teacher. I have been going through my memory bank (which is sorely lacking in "funds") trying to remember all of the teachers we have had through the years. I was going to ask my friend to give me a hint. Secretly, of course, so that no one ever found out what a bad memory I had.

Then today my friend on facebook wrote this on my wall:

Shanon, just saw your post......thanks for your humor (can so relate to it) & here's wishing you & yours a very safe, happy & healthy New Year! *toasting* Look forward to reading your "works of art" this year (when's that book coming out?)!


See why I love her so much?!

Then our mutual friend wrote this on my wall (or her wall, I'm not sure):

Hi Gwen! How do you know my friend Shannon? What a small world we live in!!!


This was her response:

The wonders of "Quill" (ha!)....I used to look forward to seeing her when she was outta school & would come work there....good times while working. I just remember loads of curly hair, great sense of humor, lots of laughter....most peeps at Quill were really great :-)

I googled Quill (see I use google all the time!) I tried to remember what Quill was and when I worked there?! Then the light bulb came on.

Oh, my good friend Gwen. You have been a mystery to me for a while now. I finally figured it out.

I don't know you!

I love you though. Thank you for all of your nice compliments. They have really brightened my day on many occasions! Can we still be friends?!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Who Needs Cleaning



I put away all the Christmas decorations last week. I decided that the mantle was kind of sad and lonely without all the Santas and I was bored with what was up there before so I went looking for something new. This is what I came up with. It took me ALL day! I polled the family to see what they thought.

Kinsey: It looks great now leave it alone and take me shopping.
Chris: I think it looks too crowded. (I said who asked you? Now go away until you have something nice to say!)
Jared: I like the duck! Now can I go back to my game?!
Gary: Hey.....I like it, but I liked the 2000 other ways you had it too.
Emily: she was gone
Carson: Did you say something? I'm too busy watching Despicable Me for the millionth time.

I have made them pause throughout the week to ooh and ahh over it. I can't tell you how thrilled they are!

So, what do you think? Now, when I ask what you think, I really want you to just tell me how wonderful it is. Okay?!