Are You Still With Us?

I used to be really good about getting kids in to see the doctor for their well check ups. Sometimes they even went on their birthday. I know...what a mean mom. Then something happened. I'm not sure what, I just started to get panicky. I would try to get the courage to call the doctor and then I would start imagining all the horrible things that they might be diagnosed with. The older they got, the harder it was to call and make an appointment. Then they started getting old enough to go to scout and young women camps and needed physicals before they could go.

I finally broke down and made appointments. Last week four of my kids had to go to the doctor. What a stressful week! At some point someone had diabetes, anemia, brain tumors, sinus infections, low thyroid, heart trouble, etc. It's getting really hard to think of new diseases for them to have! I might have to start looking things up on the internet. Maybe not, though.

Jared's appointment was scheduled first. I went to pick him up from school, and they told me he had just gone into some new standardized test. I asked if it was a mandatory test, they told me it was, so I left him at school. It's amazing how sick a kid can get in my imagination. I figured that since he had a field trip the next day he was given a reprieve so that he could enjoy his last trip before duh...duh...duh...the illness.

Emily and Carson had appointments at the same time. Carson wanted to go first because he loves to get his blood pressure checked. Well, until it starts to "hug" his arm. Then he says "ow, ow, ow" and starts to squirm. It was time for him to have his complete blood work done so we had to draw blood. So sad! He told the nurse to "bop" (stop). She told him how brave he was and gave him two stickers. I had to wait 4 days for the results, but he is healthy as can be. I came away with referrals to a pediatric ENT, cardiologist, dentist, and optometrist. Oh the stress!

Emily was next. It was time for her to get immunizations. She isn't too fond of needles so she wasn't happy. She didn't even notice the first one. The doctor wanted to get diabetes testing done. More blood work to do, but she had to be fasting so we had to go back later for that. Three days later I got her results. No diabetes. Hooray...we can still eat M&Ms. A good mother would start a healthy eating plan, but not me...ice cream for everyone!

Kinsey had her appointment a few days later. She finally grew...yay! She has been very tired lately so I figured she was anemic. The doctor said "well we can certainly check her for it". Kinsey said "no, no, no". The doctor said "don't worry it's just a finger prick test". Then Kinsey had to get a finger prick and immunizations. The one that has paralyzed a few girls. Was I worried? Of course! We got the results of Kinsey's test a few days later. Is she anemic? Nope...just the going-to-midnight-every-night-and-waking-up-at-six-every-morning disease. Plus, she isn't paralyzed!

We got Jared an appointment a few days after his first appointment. By this time, I was so stressed that Gary took the day off and took him to his appointment. He has been getting headaches lately. I was sure he had a brain tumor. Nope...just allergies and sinus trouble. He had to get his 7th grade shots, but no blood work. I didn't even read what he could have gotten from the shots. Turns out it was not the universe giving us a few extra days to enjoy life without a horrible illness, it was just a school test. Boy, what a relief!!

Funny story...we took Kinsey back to get her finger prick and the nurse starts to tie up her arm. Kinsey turns white and tells the lady it's just supposed to be a finger prick. The nurse tells her that finger pricks hurt worse so she will just draw blood. Kinsey gets the panicked look (she's a lot like her mom...sorry Kinsey), but decides to do that. I tell her to look away and the nurse tells her how wonderful it will be. Like a walk in the park. Well it was a painful walk in the park, but the nurse was oblivious. She says "now there, that wasn't so bad right? Are you still with us?" Then she starts waving the blood vial in Kinsey's face and says this is your blood! Kinsey looks like she's going to puke and I'm not feeling much better. We practically ran out of there.

As we get to the door, I start laughing. Kinsey's offended that I am enjoying her pain so much. Only someone like us would get a nurse that takes pleasure in taking someone's blood, sees that we are a bit queasy and then waves the blood in our faces. Yeah...that's not really helping lady!

So...a stressful week ends. Everyone is healthy. Yay!! Now we have to start making dental appointments. Boo!!! I wonder if anyone has mouth cancer? That's a bad one, you know!!

I'm Outta' Here

We have decided to move. "Breathtaking sunsets and endless vistas await us at our new home. It is an oasis of beauty and luxurious amenities in the hill country. This community offers the charm of small-town living, yet the culture and excitement of Austin a short drive away. We'll enjoy three championship golf courses, a world-class fitness center with tennis and swimming, plus miles of walking trails. The activity center offers art studios, a woodshop, computer lab, and more than 30 clubs."

Doesn't it sound wonderful? The best thing...children are not allowed. I was so excited I was ready to sign on the dotted line. The worst thing...I'm not allowed either. Come to find out I have to wait awhile. I finally find the perfect place to live and I'm not old enough. It figures. Gary will be old enough on January 29, 2013. I think I'll send him out to buy a house on his 55th birthday.

So...if you are 55 or older and very active, Sun City, TX is the place for you. If you are younger than that, don't even visit...it will make you very sad.

We Want You!

I've been practicing to be a sharp shooter. You know...shooting a gun?! I'm thinking that I am so good that the military might want to recruit me. Maybe I can become a military girl, join the national guard, become a marine, travel the world while I protect this great country. The possibilities are endless. You know, you can never be too prepared...what if something happens to my husband and I need to go back to work?!? Atleast I'll have something to fall back on:

Ready!
Look at that form!

Aim!

Look at that precision
(my nephews Jon and Adam are impressed!)

Fire!

What do you think?

Should I join the military?

Do you think Uncle Sam will come to me and say

"WE WANT YOU!!!"?

Hmmmm........Maybe not!

Oh well, I can also change a diaper!

There were no children, birds, animals or skeets injured at this practice...except me. Ouch! Someone could have told me it hurt to shoot a gun!

Excuse Me, Please

I'm making cookies with 5 children. We have to make them for the Court of Honor tonight. The kids want to eat the cookie dough. We have to be there early so that Jared can help do the flag ceremony. We have homework to do and dinner to eat. I am starting to get cranky. Excuse me for just a minute.


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Breathe in through the nose...out through the mouth.
Breathe in through the nose...out through the mouth.
Breathe in through the nose...out through the mouth.


Okay...I think I'm better now.


Update: Everyone (including me) left the kitchen. Jared made the cookies all by himself...they were delicious. He gave everyone some cookie dough, which was great because then they weren't hungry. I didn't make any dinner, they all finished their homework, we made it to the court of honor on time, and now everyone is in bed. Hooray!!!

Our Easter Sunday

We had a very nice Easter Sunday this year. The Easter Bunny left a note on the mantle instead of leaving the baskets out on the table. The kids were told that they would go on a hunt for their goodies after church and they needed to hurry up and get ready to go. What a nice Easter Bunny...and so clever! This is the hunt they were sent on:

The Easter Bunny has come to say
Have a happy Easter day
This year I’m shaking things up a bit
To enjoy your goodies you just can’t sit
I’ll send you on a treasure find
After church you can hunt it and then unwind
So off you go to get ready for church
And when you get home you can start on your search

Carson has to ask Dad for the very first clue
It’s in his good suit that is very dark blue

Good job on your hunt you’re doing good so far
The next clue Emily can find in the pencil jar

Wow you guys are smart and are good on a hunt
The next clue Jared can find on a ball you can punt

It’s Kinsey’s turn next to put on her thinking cap
She can find the next clue where the baby dolls nap

To find the next clue, Chris will have to be brave
The baskets are hidden where it feels like a cave
Go find the hook that pulls open a door
Then climb up and up and then up some more
The goodies are hidden in the top of the house
Let’s hope they weren’t eaten by a tiny white mouse

I hope you had fun with your Easter Day hunt
And please don’t get mad that I pulled such a stunt
Easter eggs, candy, new dresses and such
Are a fun way to celebrate this day just a touch
But please oh remember the real reason for this day
Is the price for our sins that the Savior did pay
Jesus Christ died for us so we could live again one day
With our families and friends and we’ll all shout hooray
The day will be wonderful so we all should prepare
To live with our Savior who gave a gift oh so rare
Have a wonderful Easter aren’t you glad there’s no Peeps
Now I’m off for a year...time to get some good sleeps.

Happy Easter!

Love, E. Bunny

Kinsey said I needed to be putting more pictures on my blog. So here they are. Enjoy!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Darn Overachievers!

When we moved from Florida to Texas, there were lots of tears and drama. We had the kids leaving their friends drama, the I hate Texas drama, the we don't know anyone drama...but the biggest drama came when Kinsey found out she would have to take PE. Oh...the horror!

In order to keep peace in the family, I encouraged Kinsey to take dance classes. She was very hesitant, but anything was better than being out in the hot sun having to run, and play sports, and sweat! Can you hear the drama of a 13 year old? So, she took dance and has really enjoyed it. Ballet seems to be her favorite.

When a child signs up for dance the school wants you to sign up to be a dance parent. They have committees to join, fund raisers to coordinate, field trips to go on, water and snacks to provide...the possibilities are endless. We have failed miserably as dance parents. We stink!! We discovered this at the very first performance. We showed up with our family and the camera. What good parents we were to support our daughter, bring our large family and remember the camera. Woo hoo! We are awesome. Then we looked around and saw all the parents with flowers for their girls. Oh no, you are supposed to bring flowers? Of course, she noticed that everyone had flowers but her! (insert teenage drama) Sorry, we didn't know. Look though, we brought the large family and the camera! Whatever...thanks mom and dad!

Last week, she had her final recital in middle school. I got to the school early because Kinsey hinted (very strongly) that the dance department would be selling flowers to give to our hardworking daughters. "Mom...I actually sweated!" (more teenage drama) I was prepared. I took my $2.00 and bought a rose. Wow, again I am awesome. Then, just to show me what a loser I really am, this mom comes and buys $10.00 worth of flowers. One of every color. So I slink off with my miserable flower and sit down. I look around and all the parents have bouquets of flowers plus they buy flowers from the dance department. Wow, Shanon, you really are a loser!

I hold on to this pitiful excuse for a flower the entire hour of the performances. It starts to sag and wilt. I swear I heard it say "water...I need water!" At the end of the show we clap, tell her how proud we are and give her the flower. She glances at the pitiful flower and runs off to hang out with her friend. Her friend's parents want a picture of the two of them. The girl hands Kinsey one of her bouquets so that they each have one in the picture. The lights are buzzing "loser, loser" as I realize that I forgot our camera and I don't even have the excuse of a large family because I left them at home!

I hang my head as I leave. On the way home, Kinsey says "don't I deserve a dinner out and ice cream from Maggie Moos?" It is getting late, I am tired, she had dinner before we left and Maggie Moos is expensive! Hello, I just paid $2.00 for a flower! "Mommmm...I worked hard, I stayed and practiced for 2 hours yesterday, I deserve it!" (more teenage drama) I tell her to talk to her dad when she gets home. He's tired too. She pouts, he nearly caves, and then my sweet daughter comes back, kicks out the teenage drama queen, and says "it's okay dad, we can go another time." Awwww...what a sweetheart.

When did the rules change? When did parents go from "attending the recital = great parent" to "attending recital, bring camera, spend your life savings on flowers, dinner and ice cream from Maggie Moos = great parent"? Why didn't someone tell me? I would have opened a savings account, got a full-time job, sold plasma! I blame the overachievers! I say we start a petition, let the kids know who's boss, quit buying flowers, tell those overachievers to knock it off, and for heaven's sake, if you are going to buy ice cream get the $1.00 sundae from McDonald's! Darn overachievers!

For the record: I don't believe in mandatory PE classes. Some kids are atletically inclined, others are more gifted in art and music. I say if they are going to make the kids who aren't athletic take PE, they should make the athletic kids take music, art or theatre. I would start a petition, but I also stink as a child advocate. Okay...rant over. Boy, that wore me out!

Is He Hot...Or Not?

A recent conversation at our house.

Kinsey: "Mom do you want to come hear my new favorite song?"
Me: "I can't right now, I have to go get ready for my hot date."
Kinsey: "Mommm...I don't think Dad would be considered hot."
Me: "Really...you don't think your dad is hot?"
Kinsey: "Well, no. You know in those magazines where they say is he hot or not...Brad Pitt would be hot, Dad would be not."
So, we decided to take a poll.
Me: "Carson, do you think Dad's hot?"
Carson: "Yeah."
Me: "Emily, do you think Dad's hot?"
Emily: "No mom."
Me: "Jared, do you think Dad's hot?"
Jared: "Mommm...ewww. What the heck? No!"
Me: "Chris, do you think Dad's hot?"
Chris: takes earphones out of ears and says "huh?"
Me: "Do you think Dad's hot?"
Chris: Rolls his eyes and turns back to the computer.
Me: Hum...I wonder if that meant no.

Poll results? 1 Hot 4 Nots.

Then Carson fans himself and says "hot". Maybe his vote doesn't count because he didn't know what we were talking about.

So...0 Hot 4 Not 1 Yes, it is hot in here.

As for me...I'm not sure "hot" would be the way I would describe him. I agree with Carson. Yes, it is hot in here. Gary was once told he looked like Kevin Costner only older, shorter, fatter, and balder. That's just not nice!

Nice looking older man? Yes...that's it! Happy 18th Anniversary to my not-so-hot-but-nice-looking-older-man husband. I'm looking forward to lots more years with you. You, on the other hand, might be saying "What was I thinking?"

For the record, Kinsey says she did not say Brad Pitt was hot. She doesn't even know who he is or what he looks like. She said that is what the magazines say.

Our anniversary celebration:

This is Gary and I on our "hot date". Boy we sure look a lot older now than we did in our wedding picture. We had a fun date. We went out to dinner at Ruth Chris Steak House. It was good but, wow, quite a bit pricey! Gary had been given a gift card, so it was better than it would have been if we had paid with our own money. While everyone there was talking about business mergers and drinking their expensive wines and such, we were discussing where we could hide the fruit we buy so the kids don't inhale it all in 2 seconds. I know...important stuff. Bananas versus business mergers! I felt like everyone was thinking get outta this town with your minivan! The doorman even did a double take after he shut the door in my face and then realized we were coming in. Haha! All is right with the world though, because I actually perfer Logan's. I like being able to throw my peanut shells on the floor...makes me feel at home. Sad, I know. Fun times...my wish is for many more fun times with my hot hubby:)!

Am I Normal?

The other night as I was going to bed, I realized that my 12 year old had gone upstairs to take a shower, but had never come back down. He usually will come down to get in one last argument before bed. So I immediately thought....he must have drowned in the bathtub. I mentioned that to my husband, but that thought had never even entered his mind. He wasn't even worried about it after I put the thought in his head. Sheesh...does the man ever worry about anything? It is perfectly normal to think that your 12 year old son has fallen asleep or hit his head and drown in the bathtub. Isn't it?

Before I could sleep I had to go upstairs and check on him. No, my husband would not go up and do it for me! As I was walking past my 17 year old son's bedroom, I noticed his door was locked. He had been mad at us before he went to bed because we told him his time on the computer was up. I immediately thought that maybe he had run away or hung himself. Again, my husband was not worried in the least even after I mentioned it to him. Isn't it normal to think that your 17 year old has run away or hung himself because he was mad at you for telling him to get off the computer? Isn't it?

I have had moments of not feeling quite right for a couple of days now. I'm sure it's the swine flu. Is my husband worried? Of course not. He even kissed me when he came home from work! What is wrong with that man? Doesn't he know how contagious it is? It's normal for me to think that a bout of queasiness is swine flu...right?!

My 10 year old has been getting a few headaches. I'm pretty sure it's a brain tumor. My husband did say maybe we should take her to a doctor. A doctor? Are you crazy? The doctor only gives you bad news. I can't deal with a brain tumor at the moment. That's normal isn't it?

My husband called the other day and sounded funny on the phone. I thought he must be having a stroke. Then he hung up on me. I immediately went into panic mode. Someone call 911 your dad is having a stroke! Turns out it was bad reception. Bad reception on a phone makes everyone think the person they are talking to is having a stroke, right?

Well, I gotta go. I think that sitting here with the computer in my lap is causing cancer in my leg. Admit it...that thought has crossed your mind too. I'm normal. Right? Hello...anybody out there?

Mother, Dear I Love You So

Mother, dear we love you so
We want for you the best
We'll try to be so quiet
While you go and take a rest.

Brother leave your sis alone
You're making her so mad
Mother, dear is sleeping
Says a loudly screaming dad.

Mother, dear go to your room
It's not time to come out yet
Why aren't you still sleeping?
Brother woke you up I bet

Brother dear come sign this card
You're making sis so mad
Brother get down here this minute
Screams a slightly angry dad.

Mother dear go to your room
We aren't finished with our job
It's just us that's screaming
No, it's not an angry mob

Sorry hon I love you so
I want to feed you soon my sweet
But I can't find the propane
Your finding skills just can't be beat

Husband dear I love you so
I found the tank you seek
I see why you could not find it
It was sitting there right by your feet

Mother dear we love you so
Look how we made the meal so nice
And look we got you books and roses
And chocolate cake - you want a slice?

Sorry hon I feel so tired
I worked hard all day thru
I'll sit down here a minute
Then clean the kitchen with the crew.

Morning dear I love you so
I fell asleep so fast last night
The kitchen still is messy
Did I snore - you look a fright?!!

Family dear I love you so
Please try the whole year thru
To save your money and next year
Skip the gifts a hotel will do.

Mother dear that sounds so fun
Will you take us with you too
I think I'll go alone dears
And dad can take you to the zoo.

This song is based on actual Mother's Day events. SIGH.....

Sometimes I Feel Like A Nut

Yesterday, I decided to go out and do a little shopping therapy. While I still prefer the chocolate therapy, I have discovered that it's not good for the waistline so it was either shopping or exercise. I'm sure Gary would have preferred that I exercise so I didn't ask his opinion.

I went out to the Round Rock Outlet mall so that I could get some things for Carson at Carter's. I love Carter's clothes and will be so sad when he goes into a size 8 and can't wear their clothes anymore. I decided to walk down to the Gap and see what they have. I usually think they are overpriced, but sometimes I find some things that don't make me gasp when I look at the price. I found these cute skirts for $6.99 each. They had them in white, navy, and aqua. I decided to try them on. They were so comfy and cute, but there was something strange about the waistline....it went up kind of funny in the front and had a very long tie up thing. I decided that for the price though I could change it a bit with my sewing machine. Three cute skirts for a bargain. The girl at the register even thought I'd gotten a great deal. As she was ringing them up, I glanced at the screen to make sure thay were coming up at the right price. It said tiered-DRESS! Ohhhh...that's why it was so weird in the front! It's a dress and you are supposed to pull it all the way up to your chest and tie it around your neck!! Now it makes sense!! Oh well, if any of you are in the market for a cute, comfy dress they have them for $6.99 at the Gap. I personally am going to turn them into skirts. If you would like to see what they are supposed to look like you can go to http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=36287&vid=1&pid=635726. Look what a bargain I got! At a certain age I think you should stop wearing dresses that far above the knee and I have reached that age. Also chocolate therapy is not so good for the legs, or the arms, or the face...

Anyone up for exercise therapy next week? A walk maybe? Anyone?

In All Things, Give Thanks

I had the unique opportunity to wake up Saturday morning in a very quiet hotel room. It was 8:30...woo hoo an extra 2 hours of sleep! Gary was still asleep so I decided to sit and write in my journal. Now you may think, wow what an amazing woman, she writes in her journal...I don't normally. I start a journal in January of every year (new year's resolution), I write in it for a few days, and then pull it out the next January. This year, however, I did not do new year's resolutions. I just didn't feel like it. So this was the first time I had written in 2009.

May 2, 2009

We went to the temple in San Antonio last night. We were invited to join in the endowment session that Jane Mackenzie was going through to receive her own endowments. We got there early so we were invited to be the witness couple. I kind of figured we would be...I can think of only a few times when we have not been asked to be the witness couple. I think Heavenly Father wants me to really pay attention! I tried to do a better job last night. I hope Phebe Withrow enjoyed her session!

I remembered that the last several months of Lori's life, she was not able to do things with her right hand. She was so faithful, even going to the temple when her body was giving out and she needed help to do the basics like getting dressed or tying a bow. While standing in the prayer circle, I saw the box with the names of those on the prayer list of the temple. I thought of how often Lori's name had been on that alter or one like it all over the world. She was even on the prayer list of the first presidency of the church. My first thought was why didn't prayer work for her? Why wasn't she healed or given more time? Didn't her small children still need her? I know, though, that those prayers were answered. She was given more time than her prognosis said. She lived two years with malignant tumors on her brain. She is now healed. Maybe not the way we wanted, but she is at peace. I am so grateful for that...maybe even a bit jealous.

When I was at the viewing for Lori we had lots of old friends come through. The girl that babysat us, old bishops, friends from the neighborhood and school. Lori's 5th grade teacher came. She was the one that taught Lori the states and capitols and Presidents of the US by singing them. It was amazing to see so many wonderful people that had helped and served us along the way. I imagine that is what the celestial kingdom will be like. A wonderful reunion of friends and family.

As I was in the celestial room last night, I looked around at all the people there. Lots of familiar faces, but we don't have much of a history with them. I still feel out of place here in Texas. I know it is my own fault. I need to get out more and be friendlier. I really stink at mingling and meeting new people. I wish I were more like Lori, she was always so good at meeting new people. They were drawn to her. She was able to make people feel at ease. I hope to learn how to do that one day. I need to be more willing to serve.

I was hiding out in a corner crying when the bishop asked "Isn't it nice to be here in the celestial room so close to your sister?" I lied and said yes. It was nice to be in that room. I really wanted to feel her there, but I couldn't. She must have been busy. I really hope she is happy. I wasn't sure what I was feeling...sadness, disbelief, loneliness. I also felt peace, happiness, contentment. The worry that I had had for five years (that my sister would die) was gone. It had happened and I had survived. I felt like I could breathe again, but wasn't sure if I wanted to.

Gary spoke to Donna Dewberry (or Newberry - I'm not sure) last night at the temple. She lost a daugther suddenly when she was in her 20s. A very special girl from what I hear. She said that her ex sister-in-law had just passed away from breast cancer two days ago. She was 40 years old. My sister was hoping to make it to 40, but missed it by about 10 months. I remember when I was youth age and we were told that we had been saved for the latter days. That we were a mighty generation. It always made me feel special and important. It made me want to try harder to be better. To make right choices. It inspired me to complete early morning seminary, to marry in the temple, to choose a faithful priesthood holder, to date safely and keep myself pure. It inspired me to go to church when I was in college and there was no one there to make me go. It inspired me to take my small children to church even when I wondered why I did this to myself every week. It inspired me to raise my son with special needs just like all my other children, only better. He doesn't like contention. When I raise my voice he starts to cry and I have to give him a hug and apologize. It's hard to have contention when you are hugging your special son who has a pure heart and loves with all his being.

So anyway, we are a chosen generation. There are so many of that chosen generation that have finished their earthly mission already and are working on the other side of the veil doing the Lord's work. I need to be better at helping do the Lord's work here. Sometimes that is such a daunting task. Life can be so challenging and I feel like there isn't much that I can contribute, but I know I am here for a reason so I will try to choose each day to endure well the challenges that come my way.

I have heard that my children's generation is a chosen generation also. They have been saved for this time. Sometimes I worry about the challenges they will face. I have seen though that Heavenly Father blesses his children. Maybe not in the same way we think we should be blessed but in the way He knows we need to be blessed. I have been given wonderful, talented, bright, loving children. My two oldest, Chris and Kinsey, have read the Book of Mormon more times than I have. Jared has a very strong personality but loves with all his heart and is always looking for the lonely child that needs a friend. Emily loves to help those with special needs. She has made friends with all of them at school and church. She is very loving and kind. Chris has faithfully attended seminary and has been a good example to those around him. He has an incredible knowledge of the scriptures. Kinsey has always been a peacemaker. She likes it when everyone is getting along. They have all been so kind to Carson. They help him and are always good about watching over him.

I love my family. I love that Gary is faithful and kind and loving. He has alot of responsibilities and a sometimes difficult wife, but he is always positive and has a wonderfully (sometimes annoyingly) optimistic outlook on life. I can never get him to talk bad about anyone...um...not that I would ever try to! Yes, he is as nice at home as he is at church and work, on a plane, at the store, everywhere. I have been told lots of times that my husband is so nice. He is! I love that my children are kind, responsible, loving, funny people. They have good hearts and fun personalities. I love the fleeting moments when Chris and Kinsey are discussing school, church or homework. I love that Chris can help everyone with their math and Kinsey can help everyone with their essays, typing papers and art. I love that Jared is always concerned about where everyone is and does the counting to 5 for me. That he still loves dirt, rocks, things that explode, and fire. I love all of the opportunities he gives our family to practice patience:) I love that Emily is dramatic. She teaches me how to talk to others. She has given me many opportunities to meet new people..."Mom, this is my friend's mom. Now that you've met her mom can I go to her house?" She is brave and kind. I love Carson. He brings a joy to our home that I didn't know we could have. I see the love of Heavenly Father every time I look into his eyes. It's amazing. He is so quick to forgive and so free with his hugs and kisses. A great example to wave to everyone and say hi. He reminds me that everyone needs a hug.

I am so blessed. I hope that I can always remember that I was chosen for these days. That Heavenly Father has given me what I need to live in these hard times. That I have been chosen to help raise up the next chosen generation!

You've Come A Long Way, Baby

My mom is amazing. She worked full-time (8 to 5) as a judicial assistant the entire time I was growing up. She always had her weekly menu planned out and would go grocery shopping on her lunch break. She came home from work and made dinner - it was always on the table by 6:00 because that's when my dad had his dinner break. At night she would stay up late sewing clothes for her three girls (she made most of our clothes). She always had a project going on whether it was making a quilt, decorating a room, painting furniture, making Christmas ornaments, etc. She made sure we all had piano lessons and every night stood in the kitchen (which was in the middle of the house) while a TV was going in one room (usually the news), the piano was going in another room, and one of us was talking to her. Every summer we would pack up the car and camper and head off to a new destination for three weeks to a month. We always camped and she made dinner every night even when we were on the road. We joke that she had the same can of Spam the whole time we were growing up. She would say all we had left for dinner was Spam and my dad would take us out to dinner. She probably still has that can of Spam (yuck!) She never sits just to sit, she is always working on something...hand quilting, scrapbooking, sewing. She made Easter dresses for us that matched and we usually had a hat and white gloves (when we were little). She still makes Easter and Christmas dresses for all the grand-daughters in the family (except when my sister was really sick). As you can tell I had a lot of expectations and big shoes to fill when I became a mom.

In 1992 I became a mom for the first time. I was really on top of things back then. I went on playdates, had a weekly menu, went to the grocery store, had social events with all of our friends, went on dates with my husband, had a clean house, took a painting class, played with Chris, sewed and helped Gary remodel a kitchen and laundry/bathroom. I'll be the perfect mom, just like my mom I thought.

In 1995 I became a mom to two children. I was still pretty much on top of things. I went on playdates, tried to do a weekly menu, went grocery shopping, had a few friends we did things socially with, watched a lot of Barney, and still painted. I even entered a craft show. I sewed my kids halloween costumes and made a lot of dresses for Kinsey. One Sunday I decided she needed a new dress for church so I started making one that morning (afternoon church). I finished it with a few minutes to spare and got her all dressed and her hair fixed pretty. We got in the car and she sat on a melted red crayon. It was everywhere! Needless, to say her new dress was ruined. I started crying and then she started crying. We went inside, changed her clothes and were late for church. I think we both cried all the way there. How did my mom do it?

In 1996 I became a mom to three children. I still did a lot of things like playdates and grocery shopping, tried to do atleast 4 nights of a menu, had 1 friend that I went shopping with a few times a month, still watched lots of Barney and still painted. I spent alot of time trying to convince Jared that it was okay to eat something besides mashed potatoes. I also spent alot of time cleaning up food that he threw at me. I made halloween costumes, but usually the morning of the community halloween festival, telling myself that next year I would not wait until the last minute. They still had to be homemade though, because that's what a good mother did. That darn perfectionist gene.

In 1998 I became a mom to four children. We did playdates, but only a few times and I usually spent the whole time trying to convince Jared that it was fun to sit in a stroller instead of having mom chase him everywhere (I know, what a bad mom). I took the three youngest to the grocery store one day while Chris was at preschool. I had one walking, one in the front of the cart, and the baby in the back. I had no room for groceries (this was before the gigantic car carts). I came home and told Gary he would have to do the grocery shopping from now on. Luckily, he agreed. I tried to make a few dresses for my girls, and remember making flower costumes for them on halloween (Emily was 3 weeks old). I sat there gluing little flowers all over a hood for a three week old! I remember very little from that time, I know I was there because I have pictures, but don't ask me any details! My little perfect world was starting to crumble around me. The laundry wasn't getting done, we ate lots of mac and cheese for dinner, the house was a mess and I was losing my mind.

In 2002 I became a mom to five children. We went to the hospital expecting a healthy little boy and came home with a baby with Down Syndrome, a heart condition, and possible hearing loss. The diagnosis rocked our world and we had to adjust to a new normal. This mostly consisted of therapy appointments several times a week, lots of doctor appointments and a file with the department of children and family services because they were the ones providing services for Carson. I spent alot of time reading books, looking at websites, and going to support groups that I never thought I would be a part of. There was no time for playdates, we were lucky if we had anything in the kitchen to fix for dinner (not because of finances, but time), Gary was working long hours, I quit doing projects like sewing and painting and my other children were growing up way too fast! My mom retired at this time, hoping to be able to come and help us with therapy appointments and four other children. Unfortunately, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer soon after and my mom spent the next 5 1/2 years helping her youngest daughter cope with two small children and a terminal illness.

In the seventeen years that I have had children, I have lowered my expectations of myself drastically. I know that there is no such thing as a perfect mom, we all make mistakes and try our best to do a little better each day. I have learned that it's okay to have cereal or pancakes for dinner, that clothes purchased at a store are okay, playdates are fun but you can't go to them all, you should still try to do crafts but only if you enjoy it, that it's important to date your spouse and for heaven's sake buy those halloween costumes (or better yet, have them come up with something from home using their imagination). I've learned that children grow up way too fast so you should take time to play with them. Laundry will just get dirty again and you will get to it when you get to it. I've learned that Down Syndrome is not the end of the world, but the beginning of an exciting and rewarding journey. I have learned that it is okay that I don't do things the same way my mom did. Our circumstances are different. We are different people with different strengths and weaknesses. My mom does amazing things, but I don't have to do the same things to be a great mom.

Last week, Kinsey needed an orphan costume for her dance class. I went to the store and bought fabric, a pattern and all I needed to make the costume. I was sitting at the table trying to change the pattern to fit her and realized that the perfectionist in me was coming out again. We decided to use an old skirt and sew patches on it, we found an old shirt, and she put her hair in pigtales. A perfect orphan costumes if you ask me. It took about fifteen minutes to complete. As we finished, I sighed with relief and thought:

YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY!!!

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Dutiful*

Gary and I are celebrating our 18th anniversary this month. We got married on May 17, 1991 in the Salt Lake Temple. It was a beautiful spring day and we were celebrating the beginning of our life together as eternal companions. We had family and friends (even the missionaries that had taught and baptized my family back in 1977) there to celebrate with us. It was a perfect day...except Gary was late because he lost his keys when he stopped to get gas in the car on the way to the temple. He had a little freak out moment, but then discovered he had put them in his back pocket (who puts their keys in their back pocket?) Anyway, he made it and we had a beautiful wedding.

Later that evening we had our wedding reception. I don't know if other people are like this, but I had been dreaming of my wedding reception for a long time (picture Princess Diana's wedding). There would be beautiful decorations, lots of yummy food, throwing the bouquet, cutting the wedding cake (no shoving in each other's face), we would change into our traveling clothes, we would wave to all of our family and friends, there would be rice thrown, and then we would drive into the sunset with "just married" painted on our car and cans hanging from the back. It would be PERFECT!

Enter reality! There were beautiful decorations and the food looked yummy. I never got around to eating so I'm not sure if it was. We stood in the receiving line for 3 hours greeting everyone. We never cut the cake although we do have a picture of us pretending to. I think someone did it for us so our guests could have some, but I don't even know if it was good. Later in the evening, I threw the bouquet then we changed into our traveling clothes. Then...wait for it...we cleaned up the entire church. You see, my husband is the responsible sort, and he felt bad that others had to clean up so he wanted to stay and help. So we stayed and cleaned up. There was no rice, all of our friends had left and it was dark. I have this picture in my head of going out to a very dark parking lot, saying goodbye to my mom and climbing into our car at midnight. The car did say just married and had cans hanging from the back, but someone had also stuffed oreos in all the heating vents and the car was cold. Oh, and there was also a very young bride with steam coming out of her ears and a very responsible groom with some explaining to do. Ah...marital bliss.

So 18 years later, I ask my husband if he would like to go away for the night. I tricked him by asking him if we could go to the temple and since it was going to be late maybe we could stay in a hotel and come back the next day. A nice little romantic get away to celebrate our wonderful marriage. Well, he heard the word "temple" and couldn't say no because his responsible side stepped forward. So we made arrangements for someone to watch the kids, get them home from school, feed them and stay with them for the night. He even booked the hotel room! So as we are packing to go he grabs his Sunday School lesson, Priesthood lesson and scriptures. He says he is bringing them so he can study his lessons so he will be prepared for Sunday. We are only going away for 24 hours! So I get my offended look and say that we are going on this trip so he can pay attention to me and help me to feel loved and adored by my husband. He gets his "quit being unreasonable" look on his face and then the kids run in the door. I could see the look of relief of his face...crisis averted, thanks kids.

So, half and hour later, we are on the road. Only this time I am the old married lady with the steam coming out of her ears and he is the responsible husband who has no clue what he did to make me mad. Well, I spend the next hour or so of the trip telling him. We were in Buda (a town about an hour south of Austin) before I quit ranting and that was only after I found 4 Reese cups in my purse. I saw the longing of chocolate on his face and snapped at him. "Don't even think about asking for one!" He asked anyway and I said "no!" Then I felt a little ashamed of myself. I dug around in the bottom of my purse and found two M&Ms that I let him have. I know...I am such a giver!

Then he says, under his breath, "I'm so glad we can go on these romantic getaways so I can be criticized for the first two hours of the trip." Luckily, by this time the chocolate therapy is kicking in. Then he says, "don't hate me because I'm dutiful." Yes...that's why I love him. He's responsible and funny!

Happy Anniversary Gary! Thank you for a fun trip. I can't wait until the next one. I'm already taking notes. Maybe you should bring extra chocolate next time.

Oh...and guess what Gary is doing until the wee hours of Sunday morning! Yep...preparing his lessons. He didn't have time on our trip. He was too busy trying to figure out what happened to that sweet girl that he proposed to back in 1990.

*Does anyone remember the 80's Pantene commercial? "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."