Only Floss the Teeth You Want To Keep

Gary decided the last week of school that he would make dental appointments for all of us. It may have been my fault because he caught me rubbing my jaw and asked if I had a sore tooth. I think I said something like my jaw keeps popping so I think I might have TMJ or a cavity that has gotten infected, which is slowing making it's way up to my brain and will probably kill me any day now. He told me I should make an appointment to see his dentist because he is a very nice man. I said no thank you I'd rather die of a brain infection than go see a dentist.

He took that to mean that he should make appointments for all of us. He set mine for 8:00 on a Monday morning. That right there tells me he doesn't love me. Who would set an appointment for someone they love on a Monday 8 am appointment? Hasn't he heard that song "Monday, Monday, can't trust that day?!" I went...against my better judgment.

The last time I went to the dentist, I had to have a cavity filled. I told them ahead of time that I get a little anxious as in shaking uncontrollably through the entire procedure at the dentist. They didn't seem to care although they did get me head phones so I could hear what was playing on the TV above my head. So while the dentist was drilling holes in my head while I shake uncontrollably I watch and listened as a crab was pecked to death by a seagull. Somehow that seemed symbolic. Everyone else tells me they get to watch shows like Full House, but not me. I guess the dentist thought the best way to deal with my anxiety was to show me that it could be worse...I could be pecked to death by a seagull. Being drilled to death by a dentist is a much better way to go!

So, I get my teeth squeaky clean with only a minimal amount of shaking. The dentist I go to always checks my blood pressure before he does anything. When they checked mine they said something like "whoa...did you take your medicine this morning?" When I said no they wanted to know if I had any with me. I didn't, but I told them not to worry because as soon as I leave this place it will be back to normal. The dentist came in and said "word on the street is that you get anxious at the dentist." Then he proceeded to tell me that I had two cavities that needed to be filled. "Don't worry though he says, I give great shots" I had even read a review about him on the internet and someone said "he gives great shots." None of that was comforting to me.

So, my appointment was set and I went back for my fillings. I think I may have said something like "I'm like a lamb off to the slaughter" when I said goodbye to Gary. This time I took my medicine but it didn't seem to help, my blood pressure was still way to high. They sit me in a chair in front of a TV that has the Today show playing. At that moment in the show there was a man being interviewed that had just been mauled by a bear. He had scars all over him and a patch over one eye. Then they warned us that some images might be disturbing as they showed what he looked like after the bear got him. Yeah, dentist man, that helps this over-anxious girl to feel calm before going under the drill.

So he came in gloating on his ability to give good shots, grabbed my cheek, stuck the needle in and yowza! He hit a nerve! He says yeah, that happens sometimes. Then he stuck the needle in again and hit the nerve again. Ouch! All this time it feels like there is an earthquake in his office because I am shaking so much. He keeps trying to comfort me by telling me that now that the shots are done nothing will hurt so I should just sit back and relax. Yeah...he doesn't know me very well. To his credit, he is one of the nicest dentists I have ever had. All the other dentists I've had just ignored my discomfort. The last one seemed to like to watch the seagull destroy the crab more than he liked watching what he was doing. This dentist took the time to tell me what he was doing, what it would sound like, and if I needed a break just let him know. Normally, I appreciate such kindness, but I have to admit I was thinking "just shut-up and get this done so I can get out of here." I survived, but now every time I fall asleep someone starts drilling on my teeth. I haven't had a good night's sleep since.

Oh, and to add insult to injury, Gary made appointments for everyone. I have been back and forth to that dentist for the past three weeks. Gary sure does know how to ruin a summer! One child had to have his wisdom teeth taken out, two have cavities, and one needs braces. The child that NEVER remembers to brush his teeth had no cavities. Is that fair?! Oh, and that jaw pain I was having? That's from clenching my teeth all the time. Apparently, I'm stressed. I wonder why?!