The Lady of the House is Withdrawing

I went off all of my medicines.

Cold turkey.

You should never do that!

I know better!

I did it anyway.

I have been in a self-induced "detox" for 10 days now.

I have not laughed so much in years! That's great?! You're happy for me?! The problem is, the things I laugh at aren't funny! Your dog died? Funny! Your house burned down? Ha Ha! You fell and broke your leg? Hysterical! Car crashes? Stop it...you're killing me!

I now have a potty mouth! I can count on one hand (okay...maybe two) how many times I have said anything stronger than "darn" in my entire life! All of a sudden...my word...I'm startin' to talk like a sailor! Only in my head though. Oh...and the rant that Gary was so lucky to hear today when he called to say hi and ask if he could talk to Chris. "H*** no you can't talk to Chris...I am busy right now." I just know he is so happy to be married to such a sweet girl!

I can't stand the sight of....wait for it...CHOCOLATE! Yes, I said chocolate. The girl with the year's supply of chocolate cannot stand the sight of it. Emily made brownies for Mother's day. My brownie was still sitting there today and I finally gave it to the kids. I have had a MEDIUM size bag of M&Ms for over a week now. Two weeks ago, I would have inhaled those suckers in seconds! Good news, though, I've lost a few pounds!

Guess what I've been craving!! Go ahead...guess!! I can wait! Vegetables. Yes, VEGETABLES! I've eaten celery, carrots, potatoes, corn, onions, lettuce, beans....and I didn't even gag! I might have even liked them, but shhh don't tell Gary. Today I was looking for fruit to eat for a snack!

I think hell has frozen over! Darn!! There I go again! If you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my mouth out with soap!

PS Emily just came in and said "mom, do you remember when I had a urinal infection last year?" I was laughing so hysterically I couldn't even tell Gary the story. He didn't think it was that funny. Oh, well.

PSS I was not laughing that Emily had an infection, but that she called it a urinal infection.

PSSS You might want to stay as far away from me as possible this week.

PSSSS If I laugh at your tragedies please forgive me and know that I am crying on the inside.