You're Not Old, Ma'am

I took my daughter and her friend shopping today. She was looking for some shorts...preferably some that were more than an inch below her fanny. We went into the local teeny bopper store and started looking around. I picked up a pair of shorts that were long enough but had a golf ball size hole in each pant leg right below the front pockets. I was giving them a disapproving look when she sarcastically gasped and said "show some skin?" I said something like "watch it little missy or I'll take you home right now and give you a modesty lesson!" Yes...I said "little missy."

I am not a shopper. I like to get in and get out, but my daughter likes to take her time. I browsed through the clothing quickly and decided that I was too old to wear the flowered leggings and printed t-shirts that were being sold there. About that time, an employee asked if he could help me, ma'am? Yes, he called me ma'am.

I was finished browsing so I found a bench to sit on while they looked around and tried things on. The songs playing on the radio were about being 15 and hating everything. I sat and wondered when I had gotten so old. Just about that time I glanced over to see a pair of pink and black undies with a teeny tiny bow on the back. It made me wonder when they started putting bows on the backside instead of the front. Yes, I needed to sit down and ponder the placement of bows.

After a few minutes, she was ready for me to pay for her shorts...the ones without the holes. I declined when the employee asked if I'd like to purchase their perfume. Perfume gives me a headache. Yes, I said headache.

As I was walking to the door a different employee asked me if I was finding everything ma'am. I said "yes". I was waiting by the door when he said "you look like you are ready to leave." I told him that his store made me feel very old. He told me that I was not old and they had clothes for everyone. I told him he just called me ma'am, that makes me old. He assured me that he calls everyone ma'am. As we were leaving, he made a point of calling my daughter and her friend ma'am. No, I don't believe he calls everyone ma'am.

Tomorrow I will start looking for support hose and a cane. At least I still have my teeth!