What Did You Say?!?

My least favorite time of day is 3:30 pm. That is when I load up 2 children in the car and go to the middle school to pick up 2 more children. I think car line is the new form of torture. Forget waterboarding...I'll tell you anything you want to know if you will just get me out of this car line!!! Then to top it off, I have a 12 year old that loves to hear his brother and sisters scream. If he can get them to all scream at once, even better. Pure bliss, I tell ya!

So anyway, Monday - Friday, I am trapped...um, I mean joyfully riding in a car with 3 screaming and one smirking children. So what does any self-respecting mom do? I turn up the music in the car and, like the starfish in "Finding Nemo", repeat over and over "Find a happy place, find a happy place."

Yesterday the music playing in the car was Randy Travis. Please don't judge me because I like country music. The song playing was called Three Wooden Crosses. Like I said, I was in my happy place not really paying attention to the words when my 12 year old says "what is a blood-stained bible?" Then my 13 year old says "it's not blood-stained, it's butt-stained!" Well, that brought me out of la-la land. Butt-stained? What does that even mean? Most moms would drop it at that, but I had to ask. Then she explained that she thought someone had sat on the bible and left a bottom impression. Then she said, "well when I say it out loud it doesn't make much sense, but in my head it did." Ha! I told her it really said blood-stained.

Conversation over, right? Wrong! Then my 12 year old went back to his original question, so I explained the song. Four people were in a car accident, everyone died but the hooker. The preacher gave the hooker a bible and she read it to her son. Who became a preacher. Nice song, right? Even a happy ending. Then my 10 year old says, "what's a hooker?" Yes, she went there. Okay! What do you say to that? I told her it was someone who did bad things with their body. My 12 year old chimes in "for money". Then my 13 year old says "isn't that a prostitute?" Yes it is...is the song over yet? I just want to go back to my happy place!

So, moral of the story? Remember, country music is bad. Only Mormon Tab from here on out. Darn kids who listen to the lyrics. I never even paid attention to the lyrics when I was a kid. Just was content to sing the song without knowing what it meant. What happened to all the naive children?

I told my husband the story. He looked horrified. He read extra scriptures to the kids last night. Hopefully, he can save them from the bad influence of their mom. Problem is...they like the country better than the MoTab. Sorry hubs...that country music is powerful stuff! Don't worry though, while this conversation is going on my 6 year old with special needs is in the back singing "I Love To See The Temple." Maybe there's hope for us yet!