Several years back I found out about Ikea and ordered their catalog. At the time, I was living in Orlando and there wasn't one near by. I would look through the catalog and drool over their stuff and marvel at how inexpensive they were. Gary knew about this relationship of mine with Ikea, but he was not jealous at all! One morning he called me and said "guess what?! I just heard on the radio that an Ikea is opening up here in a year." Well, to say I was excited would be an understatement...I couldn't wait for it to come to town so I could go and spend all of our money. Gary, on the other hand, was not so excited. He was not jealous or nervous because I couldn't shop at Ikea, just drool, but now it was coming to town and he was a little worried about our bank account. So...what does any man who is worried about his bank account do? He starts looking for a job in another state and moves his family across the country away from Ikea before it is even finished. I was so sad. I had missed seeing this wonderful place by a few months.
His plan backfired though, because he moved us to a place with an Ikea just minutes from our home. He called me from Texas one morning before we had gotten here and said "guess what. I am driving by Ikea right now." He even took a picture of the sign with his cell phone and sent it to me. I told him to stop and go check it out. He did, but he wasn't very impressed except that they did have good cinnamon rolls.
I could not believe he wasn't impressed. How can you not be impressed with a place that you can shop, eat, and even let your children play but doesn't charge a lot? I figured he was trying to discourage me so I wouldn't go and spend all of our money. So...one of the first things we did when we were all in Texas was to go to Ikea. We shopped, we ate, and as much as I hate to admit it...he was right. It wasn't that great. I felt like I was in the midst of a herd of cattle being pushed through the store. If I wanted to look at something I felt like I was stopping the normal flow of cattle and I would get run over.
So, here it is a few years later, and I still won't go to Ikea by myself. My reasons being that I can't push their dumb carts through the store, you have to walk through the whole store to get the one thing you want (boy am I tired!) and their food reminds me of the lunchroom cafeteria in elementary school (YUK!).
Gary and I went there on Saturday because we were looking for a chair for Carson, a desk for Jared, and a TV cabinet for our loft. We did not want to spend a lot of money for them either. When we got there we decided to try the play place for Carson. He was very excited to go play. After giving them our fingerprints, blood type, license, and 5 other forms of ID (I may be exaggerating a tiny bit) they let him in to play and gave us one of those restaurant buzzers and an hour to shop. So we were off, with the rest of the cattle.
Gary asked me if they had a chair that I liked for our living room because I had rearranged the furniture and we didn't have enough seats for our whole family anymore. I picked out a chair I liked but he couldn't hear me and kept walking. I kept saying it louder but by that time we had already been prodded past the chair by the people behind us who thought they were at the Indy 500. Then I got the "you are just as important as they are. If you want to look at a chair just stop and they can just go around you" speech. By this time I was annoyed (we were about 20 feet from the entrance of the store) and ready to go home. I kept plodding along even though you can't really look at anything in the store because if you stop you will get run over by the dumb carts that are completely out of control.
We found the chair we were looking for, the TV cabinet that isn't what I really wanted but will do for the good price, and saw a desk that we think will work for Jared. We still had to go through the rest of the store though. At the very end of the cattle run, we started looking for the things we needed with the aisle and bin numbers we had written down. Wouldn't you know they were out of the things we needed?! Gary went to stand in line to ask if they had anymore and I went to get Carson because our hour was up.
I went to the play place and gave them my proof that he was mine (even though he was yelling hi mom from across the play place). Then they called his name and expected him to come running over to his mom. Well, he made it perfectly clear that he was not ready to leave "NO MOMMY NO!!! So the girl working there said "Carson it's time to leave your mom is here." "NO!" Then another girl tries to reason with him...which doesn't work for most kids, but definitely not one with down syndrome (they are known for their stubbornness). Then they come and ask me if I have anything to bribe him with. Ummm...let's see...bodily harm? I even gave them permission to pick him up and bring him to me. Then she says "well, you can come back and get him, but we have to call a manager first" What?!! A manager? The manager is apparently the gate keeper. He lets the parent in, escorts the parent to the child, and says "okay _______, it's time to go." So after waiting 5 minutes for the manager, he lets me in, asks me which child is mine, escorts me over to Carson, and tells Carson it's time to go. "No!" So I drag him out of there as he screams "no, mommy, no!" As we sit down to put his shoes on he starts doing the pee pee dance and says "no pee pee". I throw his shoes on and start dragging him to the bathroom. Oh, yes, I am really over this trip to Ikea. I am no longer feeling the love!
We find Gary, who is waiting in line to pay...he did find everything. It was all in a completely different spot than what those signs said. Carson sees the picture of the ice cream cone and starts screaming for ice cream so I decide to get out of there fast and go get the car. I get him out to the car by reminding him that he has lemonade out in the car (ema-ade? yay!!) We load everything up and go home vowing to remember that we hate Ikea and will never go back!
On the Sabbath day (we were just asking for trouble) we decided to put it all together so we wouldn't have heavy boxes in the house all week (like how I justify?). It all goes together smoothly until the very last piece. It has a hole in it, which will show if we use it so guess what?! I have to go back to Ikea today to beg and plead for one part that is in one of three boxes. I just don't know if I can do Ikea twice in one week! Please pray for me!
Update: I managed to pull together the courage to go to Ikea today. They were actually very nice and efficient. They offered me 30% off or they would open a box and give me a new piece. I called Gary to get his opinion and of course he went with the money. I agreed since it was the top piece and won't show if we put a basket up there. So I left Ikea with a $74 credit. Hmmm...what should I do with all that money. I know, I'll go to the Ross across the street and spend it. So that's what I did. Turns out, for a price, I will change my tune. Today, Ikea is not such a bad place!
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